Harry: The Japennese Wannabe
by I-heart-tofu
Summary: The Thrid Story to Mystery Meat...featuring....NEGALOS BROWNLEAF! Yeah.


The Harry Potter Trilogy  
  
Harry: I LOVE YOU!  
  
Hermione: I- thought we were just friends Harry. I mean you're a nice guy and all- but you definitely have some unsolved issues.  
  
McGonagall: *intercom* Harry Potter, please report to my office immediately. That'll be all.  
  
IN MCGONAGALL'S OFFICE  
  
McGonagall: Potter- I've asked you here today because you seem to be having some "anger" problems.  
  
Harry: *not knowing what she's talking about* Like what?  
  
McGonagall: Well, chasing Mr. Weasley around the school, dancing on the front page of the school paper, and that whole pot thing and-  
  
Harry: ok ok sheesh!  
  
McGonagall: So- I've changed your schedule so that you'll be taking The Art of Zen Gardening and your teacher will be Negolas Brownleaf.  
  
Harry: What?! Is that even a real class?!  
  
McGonagall: Yes, but the staff likes to keep quiet about it for the poor anger management needed embarrassed students sake...  
  
Harry: Hey! *points index finger at McGonagall* news flash- you were in the men's *swings finger around* bathroom too!  
  
McGonagall: I don't believe so Mr. Potter.  
  
Harry: *rolls eyes* *flashback to first story~ "Everyone but Hermione is crammed into the men's bathroom, even the ghosts and TEACHERS, smoking" (see she was smoking on the bathroom)  
  
McGonagall: *blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...* Harry: *loser sneeze*  
  
McGonagall: Excuse me?  
  
Harry: Nothing  
  
NEXT DAY- OUTSIDE-ZEN GARDENING CLASS  
  
Negolas Brownleaf: (looks exactly like Legolas Greenleaf) Hello class. (which was just Harry and a kid with a huge boil) I'm Negolas Brownleaf. Your new The Art of the Zen Gardening teacher.  
  
Harry: *long sigh* *rolls eyes*  
  
Negolas: ...and the only reason I'm saying this is because I see we have a new face in the crowd. A... Mr. Harry Potter.  
  
Harry: *Hermione on his mind* Yep- that just about puts the icing on the cake. *thinks to self -Hermione always liked to eat the frosting first on the cupcake*  
  
Negolas: Oh, a Mr. smarty-pants have we?  
  
Harry: No...  
  
Negolas: Oh, here we go again!  
  
Harry: What's your deal?  
  
Negolas: You wanna take this inside do ya?!  
  
Harry: You should be in this class- not teaching it.  
  
Negolas: I challenge you to a duel! Ha Ha Ha! *eerie look*  
  
Harry: A what?  
  
Negolas: Bring it! This is a karate duel! Just F.Y.I.!  
  
Harry: *whispers to boil kid* Weird-o.  
  
Negolas: *crow pose*  
  
Harry: *runs away into the castle*  
  
IN A HALLWAY  
  
Harry: *sees Hermione and stops running* Hermione! I've got to ask you something-  
  
Hermione: What is it Harry?  
  
Harry: Will you go out with me?  
  
Hermione: I thought we already discussed this?  
  
Harry: I know I know- but will you?  
  
Hermione: No  
  
Harry: Yes  
  
Hermione: No  
  
Harry: Yes  
  
Hermione *slowly* Noooo  
  
Harry: *slowly* Yessss  
  
Hermione: No  
  
Harry: No  
  
Hermione: Yes  
  
Harry: Ha! Yes! Score! *happy dance* uh huh uh huh uh huh  
  
Hermione: Harry- I'd go out with Malfoy before we ever go out.  
  
Malfoy: *turns corner* *acting like a thug* Hey babe.  
  
Hermione: *links arms with Malfoy and heads for the Great Hall*  
  
Harry: Noooo.... *on knees* *hallway goes dark and a beam of light comes down on him* Noooo!!! *half crying*  
  
OUTSIDE THE GREAT HALL  
  
Harry: *sobbing a little*  
  
Ron: There, there Harry. *opens door* Holy Guacamole!!  
  
(inside it's dark except for the flashing neon lights, confetti, and everyone dancing. Jordan Lee is working the turntables) (On the staff table is Malfoy break dancing)  
  
Hermione: *shouting to Malfoy* And windmill, and windmill, and windmill...  
  
Harry: What the heck is going on here?!  
  
Dumbledore: *walks into Great Hall*  
  
(The room fell silent)  
  
Ron: We're sure in a sticky widget.  
  
Dumbledore: -'cause whatever it is- I wanna join!  
  
(Party starts up again) Yah!!!!  
  
10 MINUTES LATER  
  
Dumbledore: *walks to close to turn tables and his hair gets caught*My wig- I mean hair! *wig- I mean hair falls off* *grabs wig and quickly puts it on* *then starts partying again*  
  
Jordan Lee: Well, that wasted 38 seconds of my life.  
  
Harry: *sitting in corner feeling sorry for himself* Could my life get any worse?  
  
(just then see McGonagall and Dumbledor making out)  
  
Harry: Yeah. I guess it could...  
  
Ron: OH MY GOD! Not again... 


End file.
